So many memories and experiences from labor, to delivery, to picking up my slippery newborn, to trying to say calming words to myself "blue" "ocean" "breeze" "floating", to truly seeing his face for the first time... I'm so sad that I'll forget. Usually I blog to remember things, but life has been changing so much so fast that it's really impossible to go back to read old entries and relive them. I feel like the future is being blasted at me and there's no time to be reminiscent or sentimental about the past. I know what it feels like now to miss each moment that goes by, because it's a moment that can't be repeated. And I know how time passes in the blink of an eye.

I take pictures and videos to capture memories, but each moment I look into my babies eyes, I'll never get back. Indulging in my feels.

I never knew I would be a mom, I never knew I would be responsible for a new soul. I'll try not to let it become everything there is about me, but it has hijacked my brain. Of course, I'm very thankful for all the support and friendship I have around me that has made this experience so much better. You could say the pain was worth it, though I don't think I'd ever go unmedicated ever again.